deathpainting: (pic#17375069)
CHOSO. ([personal profile] deathpainting) wrote 2025-05-28 07:58 pm (UTC)

( he wants to avoid reacting--wants to keep his hands wandering, slightly, the small flex of his fingertips as they slide down gojou's back, mapping out where he might feel his spine through his clothes; he wants to keep any manner of inquiry about that kind of thing behind locked doors, because he hasn't figured out how to react to it yet. hasn't figured out what it means, what he wants, if it's something he should permit himself, or not: the idea of it is simple enough, it's not like he doesn't understand.

but sex is a hard subject for a creature created out of the pain of copulation--it's a subject he doesn't find himself lingering on, mostly because then he would be forced to contend with that aching loneliness, the worry that the creation of himself, and his brothers, brought his mother no joy, that the result of something that should be genuinely good ended in the pursuit of a true evil.

and gojou wouldn't be confident like this, wouldn't be asking like this, if he hadn't already engaged in it to some extreme degree, right? now there's a thought that's never crossed his mind, until now.

it's embarrassing to think about. back home, gojou satoru had simply been some annoying, untouchable thing, made good only by virtue of being the one who would presumably defeat sukuna, who would go on teaching his brother how to think critically in sorcerer society, who might even continue to guide sorcerers to think beyond the constraints that hold them back. here, it's entirely different: this is not his gojou satoru, or rather, not the one that he saw from a distance, not the one who perished, not the one who proclaimed confidently that his students were watching and therefore he'd win. it's a gojou satoru he can touch, like he is, that he can talk to, like he does. and, apparently, a gojou satoru that claims him, and asks him things like this to get under his skin.

just to get under his skin? it's hard to say. maybe that's the point that has him relenting, slowly drawing his gaze back down to steady itself with gojou's face. )


...I don't know. ( even though the answer is flat, it's honest. ) I don't know how it's supposed to feel, I don't know if it's good, I don't know if it matters.

( it feels a little presumptuous to assume that anyone would want to do that sort of thing with him, though he realizes, belatedly, that's what gojou might be teasing about. )

Do you ever think of it? When you lost yours? Do you want it back? These are more important questions, to me.

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