it does i've still got absolute buckets of cursed energy no ability to use it beyond RCT, Infinity, and my embarrassingly limited Six Eyes
but yeah i remain untouchable, unkillable, and i've got enough energy to power all that for YEARS
except for how patho-gen can apparently just nerf all of that whenever they want which is disturbing but i'm taking care to play nice with them because of that
[ Gojo stares at his phone for a long time without typing anything, then goes off to distract himself for a bit before finally coming back to consider the question again.
He could just ask what he wants to know without offering his reasoning for changing his mind, but he finds he wants to tell Choso why.
And, maybe, he wants to work it through for himself along the way.
He's found that Choso is good for enabling that. (Whether Gojo wants it or not.) ]
i've found myself asking a lot of people here what they intend to live for now that we're separated from the things we lived for back home i've found that for me, it's the people you and fel especially
i want to ask suguru that and i want to help him find an answer to it, whatever that answer is for him but somehow i feel like it's important for him to know that he died (he already knows) in order for him to find what he wants to live for let the old self die become someone new
if i'm going home, if we're getting out of here, then ... i'm living for that, too but--no. i don't think i am going home.
if i believe that i'm going back home, and i'm waiting for that to happen, working toward that goal ... then i'll never become someone new i'll keep waiting to resume my real life back home
and let's be honest if you gave me the choice to go home alive or to stay here with suguru
if i am dead, then i can be reborn samsara (not quite samsara--but if this place is the afterlife, then ... the equivalent of samsara)
if i died, then i failed a lot of people i don't want to know because i don't want to face that failure
but i think i might like to be reborn
if he is dead and this place can help him to become someone new if i want that second chance with him
You want the things you never really had. You want release, from all that. It sounds pretty.
( the sorcerer, the legend, the person that everyone goes to in order to fix their problems. he can understand the desire; he can understand the feeling of wanting to be a place where someone he loves is, instead of going back for more pain.
he's satisfied with the way gojo explains it. he understands. whether he should convince him to return or not is not something he considers; that's not his choice, or his fight. )
[ He'd expected it, braced for it, and had thought that there would be a rush of guilt for the failure of having died and let down everyone who counted on him.
But there isn't, not really. He finds that he'd already felt much of that pre-emptively, already grieved it for his time in the prison realm. He'd already failed and been removed from the world, leaving his students and his friends on their own. He wishes he could have done a few last things to wrap up his affairs--maybe he did. Choso said he'd gotten out of the prison realm. Maybe there'd been an opportunity in there to settle a few last important priorities.
He just feels relief, and he's a little surprised to find that the reasoning he'd just given holds true. It's freeing.
He's glad, too, that Choso offers the information about his own death. He'd wanted to know, and had originally asked are we dead, but he hadn't intended to include Choso or to ask him a second time.
Choso summarizes it well with the simple implication surrounding his name, and Gojo's glad that he understands the strange nuances of it. Gojo, just Gojo, is an avatar of his family, an emblem of power in a half dozen ways, and it's a role that lets him feel safe, to keep people at a distance. Gojo Satoru is a demi-god, a weapon, an object of awe, with all the responsibility of the world on his shoulders and no equals. Satoru, just Satoru, is a person. And so few people see him that way.
But that's different here, where he's not the strongest.
He's not the strongest.
(He's still a force to be reckoned with, and he damn well knows it, he's still one of the strongest here both in capability and sheer force of will.)
He can just ... be ... Satoru. ]
Thanks, Choso.
[ He'd thought, too, that he'd ask for how. He'd thought, laughingly to himself, that he'd ask 'did I at least die a cool death?'
But it doesn't even matter.
He's free of all that.
He goes out to take a nap in the shade in the garden. It's nice out there. Sunny. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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can we make an agreement that we will try our best to
not do anything stupidly dangerous andstrike that there's no way i'm managing that
to not go out into the wilderness alone
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If it does, I'll allow you to make that agreement.
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i've still got absolute buckets of cursed energy
no ability to use it beyond RCT, Infinity, and my embarrassingly limited Six Eyes
but yeah i remain untouchable, unkillable, and i've got enough energy to power all that for YEARS
except for how patho-gen can apparently just nerf all of that whenever they want
which is disturbing
but i'm taking care to play nice with them because of that
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you're sweet
i want you safe too
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Are you being safe with Geto Suguru, too?
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we sniped at each other a bit on the network
and i've gone out of my way to annoy him in passing a couple of times
but i've been good
i'm going to redeem him
feeling a bit more optimistic about that today
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Thank you for telling me.
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shall i report in if i've been behaving
i expect to be told i'm a good boy
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If you're happy, then that's enough for me.
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i mean, i've got concerns. it's a difficult situation.
but i'm grateful for a second chance.
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[ the typing dots keep appearing and disappearing for a while ]
are we dead?
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they remember dying
and, like, i don't feel like that's the sort of information that gets offered easily in casual conversation
i mean i know we've gotten hit by confessional drugs a few times but still
the rate of people who have told me that
makes me feel like
statistically
it's all of us
and i don't understand why they remember their deaths
but i don't
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You came here alive.
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He could just ask what he wants to know without offering his reasoning for changing his mind, but he finds he wants to tell Choso why.
And, maybe, he wants to work it through for himself along the way.
He's found that Choso is good for enabling that. (Whether Gojo wants it or not.) ]
i've found myself asking a lot of people here what they intend to live for
now that we're separated from the things we lived for back home
i've found that for me, it's the people
you and fel especially
i want to ask suguru that
and i want to help him find an answer to it, whatever that answer is for him
but somehow i feel like
it's important for him to know that he died (he already knows)
in order for him to find what he wants to live for
let the old self die
become someone new
if i'm going home, if we're getting out of here, then ... i'm living for that, too
but--no. i don't think i am going home.
if i believe that i'm going back home, and i'm waiting for that to happen, working toward that goal ... then i'll never become someone new
i'll keep waiting to resume my real life back home
and let's be honest
if you gave me the choice to go home alive
or to stay here with suguru
if i am dead, then i can be reborn
samsara
(not quite samsara--but if this place is the afterlife, then ... the equivalent of samsara)
if i died, then i failed a lot of people
i don't want to know because i don't want to face that failure
but i think i might like to be reborn
if he is dead and this place can help him to become someone new
if i want that second chance with him
then
let the old self die
become someone new
am i dead, choso?
no subject
You want the things you never really had. You want release, from all that. It sounds pretty.
( the sorcerer, the legend, the person that everyone goes to in order to fix their problems. he can understand the desire; he can understand the feeling of wanting to be a place where someone he loves is, instead of going back for more pain.
he's satisfied with the way gojo explains it. he understands. whether he should convince him to return or not is not something he considers; that's not his choice, or his fight. )
You are dead.
So am I.
no subject
But there isn't, not really. He finds that he'd already felt much of that pre-emptively, already grieved it for his time in the prison realm. He'd already failed and been removed from the world, leaving his students and his friends on their own. He wishes he could have done a few last things to wrap up his affairs--maybe he did. Choso said he'd gotten out of the prison realm. Maybe there'd been an opportunity in there to settle a few last important priorities.
He just feels relief, and he's a little surprised to find that the reasoning he'd just given holds true. It's freeing.
He's glad, too, that Choso offers the information about his own death. He'd wanted to know, and had originally asked are we dead, but he hadn't intended to include Choso or to ask him a second time.
Choso summarizes it well with the simple implication surrounding his name, and Gojo's glad that he understands the strange nuances of it. Gojo, just Gojo, is an avatar of his family, an emblem of power in a half dozen ways, and it's a role that lets him feel safe, to keep people at a distance. Gojo Satoru is a demi-god, a weapon, an object of awe, with all the responsibility of the world on his shoulders and no equals. Satoru, just Satoru, is a person. And so few people see him that way.
But that's different here, where he's not the strongest.
He's not the strongest.
(He's still a force to be reckoned with, and he damn well knows it, he's still one of the strongest here both in capability and sheer force of will.)
He can just ... be ... Satoru. ]
Thanks, Choso.
[ He'd thought, too, that he'd ask for how. He'd thought, laughingly to himself, that he'd ask 'did I at least die a cool death?'
But it doesn't even matter.
He's free of all that.
He goes out to take a nap in the shade in the garden. It's nice out there. Sunny. ]