He's never used me like that. I don't think he ever would. I don't think he'd ever harm me, and I think he'd consider that a violation (of me).
But by his death, he'd violated so many boundaries that he'd previously considered sacred. So maybe he would.
The other thing, about making my own choices? Most of my morals, Choso, the good ones, the ones that make me a good person, that make Yuji believe in me? Suguru taught them to me. He installed them in me, because the moral code that is inherently my own is ... pretty flimsy. I'm mostly still following his, from the Geto Suguru I fell in love with, who was so kind. Kinder even than Yuji, would you believe that?
So I think there's also a risk that if Suguru ever decided to install a new moral code in me ... he probably could.
He never did. Never summoned me, never asked me to join him, never tried to use me toward his own goals. For my sake. Because he loves me. When he made his choices, he specifically pushed me away to prevent me from following him and his path.
But there's a pretty significant extent to which he is still the primary influence that convinces me I should care about other people.
That's the problem. When it comes to making my own choices, the choice I made back then, which I continue to make, was to devote myself to the moral code of the boy I loved.
I don't know what it would take to get me to choose to devote myself to the moral code of the man he's become.
But I think there's a pretty dangerous chance that I'd choose him over anything else.
It does not sound as though he is the person you once loved, and his actions do not sound like the actions of one who loves you back.
You are putting everyone else in this city at risk if you continue to devote yourself to a person who no longer exists. More importantly, you are putting yourself at risk.
I said I wouldn't lecture you, but I expect better decision making from a sorcerer of your caliber. He is not someone to be trusted, here. You aren't even sure of him yourself. Don't do stupid things. Don't pretend that your heart isn't still soft.
If either of you endanger the humans, or non-humans, of this place, then I won't hesitate. But I am concerned about you, and until I am no longer concerned about you, I expect you to sleep in any other bed except his.
If he does something I find unforgivable, especially to you, then I won't hesitate, either. Be disappointed in me, I don't care. Humans protect their own too.
I'm not pretending my heart isn't still soft. I'm telling you this because it is.
I won't be disappointed in you for acting, and I'm trusting you not to hesitate. I warned him not to start shit and I told him to leave you alone, but if he doesn't listen to that warning then I won't hold it against you for defending yourself or others.
You're right. On all points. I'm listening.
I will try real hard not to do anything stupid.
[ He's also gonna hope real hard none of them find out he already did something stupid. ]
Clarify the condition on any other bed except his. Literal sleeping in beds, or strict prohibition on all bad idea sex with him? :( Can't I have a little leeway on a little bit of bad idea sex sometimes? :(
it is. that's adorable and kind of immensely tempting. i'll take it under advisement.
ok so love letters are allowed, sex isn't. where are we on ... no, never mind. if i kiss him, i'll fuck him. kissing's out. pining letters and quarreling matches with lots of erotic tension it is.
when did you get to be the boss of me? why did I let you become the boss of me?
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He made his choices, didn't he? ( from the little he knows. )
He can't do anything unless he robs me of this body. He can do worse things to you without any violence.
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He's never used me like that. I don't think he ever would. I don't think he'd ever harm me, and I think he'd consider that a violation (of me).
But by his death, he'd violated so many boundaries that he'd previously considered sacred. So maybe he would.
The other thing, about making my own choices? Most of my morals, Choso, the good ones, the ones that make me a good person, that make Yuji believe in me? Suguru taught them to me. He installed them in me, because the moral code that is inherently my own is ... pretty flimsy. I'm mostly still following his, from the Geto Suguru I fell in love with, who was so kind. Kinder even than Yuji, would you believe that?
So I think there's also a risk that if Suguru ever decided to install a new moral code in me ... he probably could.
He never did. Never summoned me, never asked me to join him, never tried to use me toward his own goals. For my sake. Because he loves me. When he made his choices, he specifically pushed me away to prevent me from following him and his path.
But there's a pretty significant extent to which he is still the primary influence that convinces me I should care about other people.
That's the problem. When it comes to making my own choices, the choice I made back then, which I continue to make, was to devote myself to the moral code of the boy I loved.
I don't know what it would take to get me to choose to devote myself to the moral code of the man he's become.
But I think there's a pretty dangerous chance that I'd choose him over anything else.
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You are putting everyone else in this city at risk if you continue to devote yourself to a person who no longer exists. More importantly, you are putting yourself at risk.
I said I wouldn't lecture you, but I expect better decision making from a sorcerer of your caliber. He is not someone to be trusted, here. You aren't even sure of him yourself. Don't do stupid things. Don't pretend that your heart isn't still soft.
If either of you endanger the humans, or non-humans, of this place, then I won't hesitate. But I am concerned about you, and until I am no longer concerned about you, I expect you to sleep in any other bed except his.
If he does something I find unforgivable, especially to you, then I won't hesitate, either. Be disappointed in me, I don't care. Humans protect their own too.
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I won't be disappointed in you for acting, and I'm trusting you not to hesitate. I warned him not to start shit and I told him to leave you alone, but if he doesn't listen to that warning then I won't hold it against you for defending yourself or others.
You're right. On all points. I'm listening.
I will try real hard not to do anything stupid.
[ He's also gonna hope real hard none of them find out he already did something stupid. ]
Clarify the condition on any other bed except his. Literal sleeping in beds, or strict prohibition on all bad idea sex with him? :( Can't I have a little leeway on a little bit of bad idea sex sometimes? :(
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Don't fuck him. Don't be fucked by him.
( does that...cover all the bases? he's not good at this, but it does feel a little nice to be crass. )
Don't sleep with him, either. It all leaves you too wide open.
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[ POUTS TRAGICALLY ]
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ok so love letters are allowed, sex isn't. where are we on ... no, never mind. if i kiss him, i'll fuck him. kissing's out. pining letters and quarreling matches with lots of erotic tension it is.
when did you get to be the boss of me? why did I let you become the boss of me?
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listen
that's only like
90% accurate
you're not the first moral guardrail that's kept me in check, though, don't give yourself THAT much credit
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[ He appreciates that Choso understands without him having to say it. ]
i'll listen to fel, too, so you can lean on him for support. to keep me in line.
....... what about cuddles are cuddles allowed
i need to be able to be weird and drape on people
(him)
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it's important
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along with the pining and love letters
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but i'll try real hard to follow the other rules
[ no promises
(no binding vows)
but at least an earnest effort
it's good for him to have clear guidelines, and he's grateful for it ]